Tuesday, July 5, 2011

God makes me cry, God makes me smile

One of my big fears about coming back to Singapore is that i would sink back into life's comfort zone like a cushy bean bag. I'm glad to say, life has not returned to normal yet.=)

Legal Education Board has rejected my appeal for leave to go the Hong Kong. And boy was i disappointed! After all, I thought I had heard God speak so clearly. And all I want is to do His will. Why is there no victory?

My very wise dad told me that perhaps the journey i was to take wasn't to Hong Kong per se, but through the process of application. To taste rejection. When we hung up the phone. I teared. I'm such a weak girl. Any minute fear of rejection is enough to send me cowering. I had tasted it. I was scared. And i asked God in that moment: "Is this gonna be what it's like to start a dance ministry is like? Am i gonna be rejected often? I feel lonely. Again."

I wiped my tears after a minute. My mascara was not waterproof. My next move was to go meet the deputy director to ask his advice.

As i made my way to sub courts, i was nervous. After all, i've been so persistent. Would he be irritated? Would he be condescending? Would he listen? After all, it looks like i have low chances. Why try?

But i should try. I'm gonna run until i finish.

So i met him. Such a nice man. I had nothing to fear. The door to Hong Kong is officially closed.

But for Playmax, it is wide open.=)

I have been clamouring for dancers for quite a while... And just in the span of 1 day, God has provided me not just 3 more dancers, but dancers with such a heart for God and for dance. Dancers i click with. Dancers that are "like-minded." Dancers who heard the call to dance ministry around the same time. Dancers that would stick around for a long while.

Very exciting.

It's been a full day of work though. I've not watched youtube or watched tv or read a book. So i'm slightly zzz now. This needs getting used to!

1 comment:

  1. Many at times we are not able to see whats ahead... But God beinf all knowing sees things we cant see. Hence maybe He may have a bigger plan for you to stay @ SG...
    everything will fall in place in God's perfect timing if it is according to his will.

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